Service for Jeremiah

We are having a memorial service for our little Jeremiah Asher Sharp.

It will be Sunday May 4, 2008 at 12:30, after church.

New Hope Christian Church

725 112th St SW

Everett WA 98204

We would love it if you can come.

If you aren't able to come, that is completely OK,

we know you have been praying for us to heal in this time of sorrow.

Also we invite you to our house afterwards if you want to visit a while longer.

Or if you can't make it to the service, you can stop by our house.

Jeremiah's Memory Box

Providence Hospital in Everett was a great place for us. Like I said earlier, the nurses were constantly making sure we were doing OK, and moving along with the process at a pace that was comfortable for us. We even got a card yesterday from several of the nurses that served us.

Also they gave us a memory box to put items in for remembering Jeremiah.

You can see it open:

• his footprints page on the right foldout,
• birth info page on the left foldout,
• a ceramic heart necklace with 2 pieces-inside heart to represent baby and outside heart to represent parents
• small crotcheted infant cap (too big for our Jeremiah-but I will keep it anyway)
• hospital bracelet for him, wasn't used though
• tiny baby ring (in the baggie with purple bow)
• precious blanket that someone quilted with a bag to put it in- it was what he was on as we took pictures of him, better than a plain white towel or something
• separate album with his foot and hand imprints as well as his birth info on one side of it
• several poems
• blue handkerchief with tiny footprints (about the same size as his actual ones) with the Footprints poem

'This Memory Box provides a place to keep special items that you connect with your Loved One. To hold, touch and remember treasured mementos and memories is a healthy part of adjusting to a loss. The Box offers a place to go to, to think about the individual, the good times, and the moments shared. What is put inside is up to you... there are no right or wrong things to include, only those things that are special to you and your Loved One. Tying the ribbons is a type of closure, to untie them and open the Memory Box, is to open up oneself to remember that Special Someone. "By remembering, we keep what is precious and most special, as treasures in our heart forever." '

Pathology Results

We had wanted to know as much as we could why this happened, if it could be found out. So Jeremiah and the placenta went to the pathology lab on Sunday morning after delivery to check out as much as they could.

I spoke with my OB Dr briefly on Friday 4/25/08 to see if pathology results had come in for Jeremiah. I am getting a copy of the whole report on Wed at my follow-up appointment, so I can read it word for word.
Dr Wong told me there were several issues with Jeremiah:

• he had a neural tube defect- the 2 most common forms of this defect include spina bifida and anencephaly. Basically it has to do with his spine and head, the neural tube and it didn't close up (back of his head), as it should have.
• he was missing several organs, such as his lungs and most of his intestines.

It is good to have some medical answers, and I will ask questions to get any other answers we aren't sure about.

Next pregnancy I will take more folic acid than before, 4x the normal amount in prenatal vitamins, as suggested by the Dr. This will possibly help prevent any neural tube defects in future babies. I had been taking normal amounts in the prenatals that I had been taking these past 5 years.

Miracle

My sister in law posted this on my myspace account on April 15, a couple days before we found out about Jeremiah. I still really love the picture though. After I looked at it again, I saw the wings on this little baby. Very touching picture.

The Broken Chain

A dear friend gave this to us, I thought it was beautiful and meant so much so I wanted to share it. Thank you everyone for all your calls, meals, emails, flowers, cards, texts, hugs and everything!!

You make this easier to go through.

The Broken Chain

We knew little that morning

that God was going to call your name.

In life we loved you dearly,

in death we do the same.

It broke our hearts to lose you,

you did not go alone;

for part of us went with you,

the day God called you home.

You left us peaceful memories,

your love is still our guide;

and though we cannot see you,

you are always at our side.

Our family chain is broken,

and nothing seems the same;

but as God calls us one by one,

the chain will link again.

A Daddy's Heart

-Travis Sharp

Daddy

I am going to type this out so everyone can read it:

4/19

Yesterday was one of the hardest in my life. Rachel sent me a message from her Dr.'s appointment saying they couldn't find a heartbeat. My heart sank, but I hoped it was just hiding from them. An hour or so later she called, it had no heartbeat. I left work abruptly and screamed in pain as I drove away. 5 years and finally she's pregnant, 17 weeks in we find out it's lost. I so want to be a father! I wonder if we will be able to conceive again? I am sitting here today, waiting at the hospital. They are trying to induce her to deliver the baby. She is going to birth our dead baby. It is difficult to wrap my head around. I know there is a reason but what could it possibly be?

The baby came out at about 7:00pm. I held Rachel's hand and stared into her eyes as tears streamed down our faces. It's obvious, looking at him that he would not have made it. There was a very large growth on his belly. He is very tiny. His hands are perfect, they look just like mine. It's hard to really take it all in. We like to think that Rachel's dad is up in heaven holding him in his hands. I think we will call him Jeremiah. It's not the name we originally picked out. It means 'God will raise up.' I think the emotional healing will take a while.

Our Son-Jeremiah Asher Sharp

Jeremiah Asher Sharp

4/19/08

4.5 inches, 3 oz, delivered at 6:54pm

Jeremiah means 'God has raised up/God will set free'; Our little Jeremiah has been raised up to heaven, and he has also raised up hope in us that we can have kids.

Asher means 'Blessed/Fortunate/Happy'- We are fortunate to have been blessed by Jeremiah

(more pictures at the bottom if you want to read the story later)

We heard his heartbeat on 4/1/08 at 15 weeks with the Doppler at the Drs office.
We were 17 weeks along on Monday, 4/14/08.

At my next appt 4/18/08 9:10am, Dr Wong couldn't find the heartbeat, but that happens sometimes, so I wasn't worried. Dr Wong pulled in his mini ultrasound machine to check it out, he did that externally then internally, but still wasn't seeing what he wanted to see. So I calmly went down to the Lab/Xray for them to do a normal/bigger ultrasound. Of which the tech there did that, then had the chief of radiology look at the results. I prayed while waiting and knew God had all this in His Hands. Then he himself did an ultrasound, and told me the news that I did not want to hear at all, that my baby had no heartbeat and had some abnormalities and was not alive anymore. Believing him yet not, I went back to the Dr's office, of which they wanted me to do. So I sat there again and talked to Dr Wong who told me what the radiologist had relayed to him. The baby would not come out on his own however, since I was having no bad symptoms, like bleeding or cramping. And that I would have to be induced into labor, and deliver him out.

I had texted Travis earlier that I had gone in for an ultrasound beyond the Drs office, so I knew he was praying for me and worried. So I waited until I got to the car, and then pulled around the corner and called Travis to tell him. Tears and words could not express. Travis said ' got a family emergency' and just walked off the job to drive home to me. I am sure he sped and hopefully he didn't break too many laws.

We decided to go ahead and go into labor that day, Friday, 4/18/08 instead of waiting until next week. By waiting, I was just hoping he would come back alive inside me.

So we got admitted at 5pm. A friend suggested another ultrasound to be sure of what they saw. I thought that was a great idea. The Dr did that willingly and we saw the same things, baby's head and large round black spot where the rest of his body should be and no movement at all. Cyst of some sort or abnormalities. Very lovingly the nurses and Dr said I could wait and get another ultrasound at the main ultrasound place if I wanted. I had to make the decision and be sure this was what we wanted to do.

They started inducing by 11pm that night. They said it could take a day or two, maybe even three for my body to go into labor since it was so early in the process of pregnancy. They gave me the pills every 4 hours. I was having slight cramps and used a injectable pain medicine to help with that. Mostly sleeping and resting with Travis in the room, my mom and dad Rod too. Our wonderful pastor David came by to comfort as well. A couple friends stopped by before labor got started to help pass time, to laugh, to pray, offer love and comfort.

****Thank you all so much! Everyone's emails are wonderful. Your calls, texts, dropping by, emails, 'gig hugs', hugs, love, flowers, cards, meals, etc are just wonderful. I have the best family, friends, sisters and brothers that anyone can ever know.****

The nurses were wonderful, always offering condolences constantly. It was hard to know what pain medicine to take, whether to take any at all. I had been preparing to do our full term baby with as little medicine as possible. But being that the end result of this birthing process wasn't going to be the same, the emotional pain was going to be hard enough I thought. So the only pain was just mild cramping like that time of the month. I do thank God for that. So I never did get the epidural. Like I said before, I just used the injectable pain medicine that made me tired and dizzy for 1 minute.

Travis & I were in the room by ourself when I felt something happening. By the time I told Travis to push the nurse button and get them in, Jeremiah had already come out. As they walked in, I said, 'I am pretty sure he just came out'. They were very nice and comforting for us. Travis and I just looked at each other, realizing what had just happened. We wanted the Dr and nurses to check him and make sure we could take seeing him. It was only a minute or 2 when the nurse brought him over. I wanted a small description of him just so I knew what to expect.

So we sat there with our little firstborn, smaller than a dollar bill, looking at him, marveling at this little creation and our Creator. Sad more than anyone will ever know that he wouldn't grow up and play ball with Daddy. But knowing that he paved the way for another one to come someday and he gave us HOPE that having children of our own is a possibility.

Jeremiah was 4.5 inches long, weighing 3 oz. Here are some pictures of him. I wanted to remember him and I am so glad we took our camera. I wanted all of you to be a part of knowing him and seeing him, since you were all so excited for us since the beginning.

Jeremiah's hands and our fingers.

Rachel's finger and Jeremiah's hand

Travis' finger and Jeremiah's hands

Travis, Rachel and baby Jeremiah Sharp

The hospital's pathology department is checking him and the placenta out to see what caused this or to determine as much as they can. I know we may never know. But as much as they can find out is great. He did have very large belly, which was what the large black spot on the ultrasound showed. It extended down covering his feet. You can see it a little in the picture with Travis' finger.

There are several more pictures of Jeremiah's whole body. If you want to see, I can email you those separately. They can be hard to see because he was so young in development, and with the large abnormal belly too.

Info guys don't care much about...it took another 6 hours to deliver the placenta. I ended up needing to go to the Operating Room at 3am to fully get it out. I had to wake Travis up since he was sleeping after going to bed at midnight. They did a spinal tap which I had avoided until this point, which numbed me pretty good. I woke up at 5am in the recovery room with Travis by my side.

****We love you all and thank you so much for the support. We will keep putting things on here that we think of. When we find out any results on pathology, we will let you know too.****

I will still say 'Blessed be the name of the Lord'

Blessed be Your name, In the land that is plentiful, Where the streams of abundance flow, Blessed be Your name.

Blessed be Your name, When I'm found in the desert place, Though I walk through the wilderness, Blessed be Your name.

Every blessing You pour out, I turn back to praise, When the darkness closes in, Lord, Still I will say...Blessed be the name of the Lord, Blessed be Your name, Blessed be the name of the Lord, Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name, When the sun's shining down on me, When the world's all as it should be, Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name, On the road marked with suffering, Though there's pain in the offering, Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out, I turn back to praise, When the darkness closes in, Lord, Still I will say...Blessed be the name of the Lord, Blessed be Your name, Blessed be the name of the Lord, Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away, You give and take away, My heart will choose to say Lord, Blessed be Your name

Travis-Funny Tshirt Man

Travis is very unique and has tons of funny tshirts. I wanted him to try them all on and I would take a picture of him in each one, but he wasn't really excited about it-like I was. So I will post pictures from years past, with his funny tshirts on..that way it is interesting to see what he is doing and who he is with, etc. Have fun looking! (I apologize ahead of time for letting you know what the shirt says; it is just in case you can't see it. Shirts are best as jokes when seen in person.)

April 3, 2008 Redoing our night stands in the living room.

Here are 2 more with the same shirt...shows it better

2006 Christmas at Sharps in Everett with Sharps from Montana

Aug 2007 Winema Christian Camp- us!

May 2007 at Oregon coast (Lincoln City) with Rivers and Mom...silly Mollie and CJ and uncle Travis

December 31, 2006 New Year's Eve Party at our house..lucador mask from Mexico and Travis. (And in case you can't see the whole saying, it doesn't say 'I love my cat' it says 'I spayed my cat' hahaha)

2005 In Illinois with Travis' mom and Rachel. This 'Don't mess with Texas' shirt is one that he picked up on our way back from a Tennessee Service Project trip. Tennessee souvenir picked up at Dallas airport..only Travis!!!

2003 This was in Illinois where my parents' family is from. The people here are my dad (behind Travis), aunts and uncles in the middle, and mom (bottom right). And Travis' shirt 'Ha, now you can't see me'

more to come...I will keep adding. I think he has about 40 tshirts with different sayings on them!

Next Ultrasound April 24, 2008

I just made the appointment with the Maternal Fetal Medicine Clinic at Providence for our next ultrasound. This is a little different than a normal ultrasound though. She said it is a 1 hour or longer appointment where they measure all the baby's parts- legs, arms, heart, head, body, etc, etc. This is because I am a high risk pregnancy/complicated pregnancy with diabetes prior to becoming pregnant. I don't feel like it is complicated yet, but I know we all want the healthiest baby ever and this is how they help ensure that. And my diabetes is really doing well, I am not just saying that-it really is:)!!! Also at this appt we get to see if we have a little BOY or GIRL coming in September!!! Wow!!! I will keep you all informed!!!