Our Son-Jeremiah Asher Sharp

Jeremiah Asher Sharp

4/19/08

4.5 inches, 3 oz, delivered at 6:54pm

Jeremiah means 'God has raised up/God will set free'; Our little Jeremiah has been raised up to heaven, and he has also raised up hope in us that we can have kids.

Asher means 'Blessed/Fortunate/Happy'- We are fortunate to have been blessed by Jeremiah

(more pictures at the bottom if you want to read the story later)

We heard his heartbeat on 4/1/08 at 15 weeks with the Doppler at the Drs office.
We were 17 weeks along on Monday, 4/14/08.

At my next appt 4/18/08 9:10am, Dr Wong couldn't find the heartbeat, but that happens sometimes, so I wasn't worried. Dr Wong pulled in his mini ultrasound machine to check it out, he did that externally then internally, but still wasn't seeing what he wanted to see. So I calmly went down to the Lab/Xray for them to do a normal/bigger ultrasound. Of which the tech there did that, then had the chief of radiology look at the results. I prayed while waiting and knew God had all this in His Hands. Then he himself did an ultrasound, and told me the news that I did not want to hear at all, that my baby had no heartbeat and had some abnormalities and was not alive anymore. Believing him yet not, I went back to the Dr's office, of which they wanted me to do. So I sat there again and talked to Dr Wong who told me what the radiologist had relayed to him. The baby would not come out on his own however, since I was having no bad symptoms, like bleeding or cramping. And that I would have to be induced into labor, and deliver him out.

I had texted Travis earlier that I had gone in for an ultrasound beyond the Drs office, so I knew he was praying for me and worried. So I waited until I got to the car, and then pulled around the corner and called Travis to tell him. Tears and words could not express. Travis said ' got a family emergency' and just walked off the job to drive home to me. I am sure he sped and hopefully he didn't break too many laws.

We decided to go ahead and go into labor that day, Friday, 4/18/08 instead of waiting until next week. By waiting, I was just hoping he would come back alive inside me.

So we got admitted at 5pm. A friend suggested another ultrasound to be sure of what they saw. I thought that was a great idea. The Dr did that willingly and we saw the same things, baby's head and large round black spot where the rest of his body should be and no movement at all. Cyst of some sort or abnormalities. Very lovingly the nurses and Dr said I could wait and get another ultrasound at the main ultrasound place if I wanted. I had to make the decision and be sure this was what we wanted to do.

They started inducing by 11pm that night. They said it could take a day or two, maybe even three for my body to go into labor since it was so early in the process of pregnancy. They gave me the pills every 4 hours. I was having slight cramps and used a injectable pain medicine to help with that. Mostly sleeping and resting with Travis in the room, my mom and dad Rod too. Our wonderful pastor David came by to comfort as well. A couple friends stopped by before labor got started to help pass time, to laugh, to pray, offer love and comfort.

****Thank you all so much! Everyone's emails are wonderful. Your calls, texts, dropping by, emails, 'gig hugs', hugs, love, flowers, cards, meals, etc are just wonderful. I have the best family, friends, sisters and brothers that anyone can ever know.****

The nurses were wonderful, always offering condolences constantly. It was hard to know what pain medicine to take, whether to take any at all. I had been preparing to do our full term baby with as little medicine as possible. But being that the end result of this birthing process wasn't going to be the same, the emotional pain was going to be hard enough I thought. So the only pain was just mild cramping like that time of the month. I do thank God for that. So I never did get the epidural. Like I said before, I just used the injectable pain medicine that made me tired and dizzy for 1 minute.

Travis & I were in the room by ourself when I felt something happening. By the time I told Travis to push the nurse button and get them in, Jeremiah had already come out. As they walked in, I said, 'I am pretty sure he just came out'. They were very nice and comforting for us. Travis and I just looked at each other, realizing what had just happened. We wanted the Dr and nurses to check him and make sure we could take seeing him. It was only a minute or 2 when the nurse brought him over. I wanted a small description of him just so I knew what to expect.

So we sat there with our little firstborn, smaller than a dollar bill, looking at him, marveling at this little creation and our Creator. Sad more than anyone will ever know that he wouldn't grow up and play ball with Daddy. But knowing that he paved the way for another one to come someday and he gave us HOPE that having children of our own is a possibility.

Jeremiah was 4.5 inches long, weighing 3 oz. Here are some pictures of him. I wanted to remember him and I am so glad we took our camera. I wanted all of you to be a part of knowing him and seeing him, since you were all so excited for us since the beginning.

Jeremiah's hands and our fingers.

Rachel's finger and Jeremiah's hand

Travis' finger and Jeremiah's hands

Travis, Rachel and baby Jeremiah Sharp

The hospital's pathology department is checking him and the placenta out to see what caused this or to determine as much as they can. I know we may never know. But as much as they can find out is great. He did have very large belly, which was what the large black spot on the ultrasound showed. It extended down covering his feet. You can see it a little in the picture with Travis' finger.

There are several more pictures of Jeremiah's whole body. If you want to see, I can email you those separately. They can be hard to see because he was so young in development, and with the large abnormal belly too.

Info guys don't care much about...it took another 6 hours to deliver the placenta. I ended up needing to go to the Operating Room at 3am to fully get it out. I had to wake Travis up since he was sleeping after going to bed at midnight. They did a spinal tap which I had avoided until this point, which numbed me pretty good. I woke up at 5am in the recovery room with Travis by my side.

****We love you all and thank you so much for the support. We will keep putting things on here that we think of. When we find out any results on pathology, we will let you know too.****

I will still say 'Blessed be the name of the Lord'

Blessed be Your name, In the land that is plentiful, Where the streams of abundance flow, Blessed be Your name.

Blessed be Your name, When I'm found in the desert place, Though I walk through the wilderness, Blessed be Your name.

Every blessing You pour out, I turn back to praise, When the darkness closes in, Lord, Still I will say...Blessed be the name of the Lord, Blessed be Your name, Blessed be the name of the Lord, Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name, When the sun's shining down on me, When the world's all as it should be, Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name, On the road marked with suffering, Though there's pain in the offering, Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out, I turn back to praise, When the darkness closes in, Lord, Still I will say...Blessed be the name of the Lord, Blessed be Your name, Blessed be the name of the Lord, Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away, You give and take away, My heart will choose to say Lord, Blessed be Your name